Hey You

I've been having this weird feeling lately... I keep asking myself, "How did I get here?" I watched Inception last night, and Leonardo DiCaprio said something about when you don't know how you got somewhere, you're probably dreaming. Sometimes I feel like that. Like I'm sleeping, like I'm dreaming... or actually more like I'm getting some kind of glimpse into the future. I'm a twelve year old, seeing myself for a second as a 21 year old. How did I get here? Is this my apartment? Why are there boxers hanging from my shower and who is that girl in the mirror? Who's heels are these in the closet? Who's dresses on these hangers? Is that really my body? Am I really in college? Less than a year away from getting my degree? What's happened in the past years? Did I really make it through all that? Have I really changed that much? Who is this boy I'm thinking about that makes me sick? And why don't I feel right at home anymore? Am I really going to work tomorrow at a job I've been at for two years? And how was I able to write such a good essay on social theory? Do I really know that? Can I really understand that? ...Did we really have all those late nights? So many dreamy late nights. Did we really?

This can't be the present or I must be dreaming, because I'm having trouble tracing things. This seems like the way it's always been, but just the other day it was so different... There had to have been so many things to separate it all, but it's happened so fast. I remember feeling scared and disconnected, but I'm happy here. Can I stay? I think I'm about to wake up...